The (AU) Reign of Fireworms
by Phoenixofmyth
Summary: What would have happened if the Fireworms had not decided to inhabit the Edge? The twins would forever be rulers of Thorstontown, right? AU of "The Reign of Fireworms". Done by request.


"Table boy!"

I groaned and stood up. Tuffnut was beginning to get on my nerves.

"Leader," I greeted them with a low bow.

Ruffnut raised her eyebrows. "What have you done for your Leader today?"

The no S was getting annoying. "I brushed- bruhed- Barf and Belch teeth."

Tuffnut circled Belch and inspected his teeth. "Very clean. Very white."

Ruffnut screeched.

"Oh, what is the problem iter?" Tuffnut exclaimed, shoving me out of his way.

"Barf actually smells clean!" Ruffnut cried out.

Tuffnut turned to me, looking quite angry. "Why did you do this?"

"You told me to!" I exclaimed, feeling quite beaten down. "Alo, I thought that the letter-that-no-one-dare-name was removed from the alphabet."

Tuffnut turned back to Ruffnut. "Do not break that rule ever again."

Ruffnut sighed and turned to me. "Make sure to wah Barf mouth out with that extremely melly weed that grow near the cliff."

I bowed as they left. Toothless bumped into my back, almost sending me sprawling to the ground. "I know bud. It's getting very tiring."

...

Astrid greeted me that night as I entered the Dragon Arena, which the Twins had designated as the living space for Fishlegs, Astrid, and me.

"How did today go?" Astrid asked me after I embraced her.

"It was- interesting," I decided on the word. "Apparently I have to wash Barf's mouth out with 'the extremely smelly weed that grows near the cliff'. I don't know what that is."

Astrid grinned and placed her hands on my shoulders. "It's that yak feed, I'm sure. It grows on Berk too."

I groaned and placed my head in my hands. "Why did I get this job?"

"You're the one who wants to go along with it," Astrid pointed out. "And I think you have the best job. It's better than mine, at least."

"Brush clearer," I said, giving her a cocky glance.

"Table boy."

I rolled my eyes. "I guess that makes you Bruh clearer."

Astrid slapped my upper arm.

...

The next morning, I headed up to the Dragon Stables to pamper Barf and Belch, who were both waiting for me.

First, I brushed their teeth, careful to fulfill Ruffnut's demand. Then I began to brush them down with warm, soapy water.

Toothless cooed and nudged my hand. "I know Toothless," I said. "We'll go flying in a minute. Hopefully we can avoid the taking off and landing fee."

Unfortunately, Ruffnut decided to walk up just as I said this. "What thi I hear about avoiding the fee?"

I silently cursed myself. "I wa jut joking. Toothle and I are orry." Why did the one letter they removed had to be S? Probably because of Snotlout.

Ruffnut opened Barf's mouth. "Hm. Melly enough. Good job Table Boy." Then she noticed me. "Aren't you forgetting omething?"

"Right," I muttered, sweeping into a bow.

"Better," Ruffnut harrumphed.

She walked away. I relaxed and stood straight. "This getting really far bud," I addressed Toothless, who growled. "I think we're good here anyway. Barf, Belch, go to your Leaders!" I commanded the dragon.

After they flew off, I mounted Toothless. He took off so fast I barely had time to click the prosthetic tail into position.

...

After we flew about the Edge for almost an hour, I saw Astrid blowing up some bushes near the riverbank. "Good morning, M'lady," I greeted her.

She looked up at me and smiled. "Hey Table Boy."

I groaned. "Why do you keep calling me that? It's bad enough when the twins do."

Astrid laughed. "It's your title now."

"You mean like yours is Bruh Clearer?"

"It's better than Table Boy."

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Fair point."

"So, what was the taking off fee?" Astrid asked, changing the subject.

I cleared my throat. "The twins weren't around, so I just took off."

Astrid gasped playfully. "Should I call Notlout?"

I covered my face. "No! Not Notlout!"

Astrid laughed again, making my heart feel warm. "He's going to show up if we don't get back to work."

I smiled. "I'll talk to you later then."

...

Later, I was sweeping the stable floor when Snotlout came in, pulling along a very angry looking Astrid. "Let go of me you toad-faced, yak-smelling baby! Do you not see how dumb you are?"

Snotlout just grinned and shoved Astrid into one of the pens, which I guess meant she broke the rules. "Keep quiet, will you? The Glorious Leaders will decide when you are to be released, _if_ you are to be released."

Astrid tried in vain to claw Snotlout's eyes out through the bars.

"I'll tell the Leaders you don't respect your Sergeant at Arms," Snotlout sneered. "That should earn you another three years in prison."

"YEARS?!" Astrid exploded as Snotlout sauntered away.

I walked over to her cage. "What happened?"

She crossed her arms. "I couldn't pay a landing fee. Do you know how tired Stormfly gets carrying around bags of brush for hours?"

I nodded. "I understand."

"So now I'm stuck here for who-knows-how-long, just because I didn't have a salmon."

I sighed. "I'd better go check on Fishlegs. He might get in trouble."

Astrid scoffed. "He's Fishlegs. Snotlout will make up some lie to get him in here."

...

"The Leaders of Thorstontown were snacking, and then they hoped to go smacking."

Fishlegs was standing in front of the Leaders, sweating. Why did he have to do this every night?

Tuffnut and Ruffnut looked bored, which was not a good sign. The chicken squawked and ruffled its feathers.

"The chicken," Tuffnut declared, laying stress on 'chicken', "permits you to continue."

...

I ran down to the Dragon Arena, hoping Fishlegs was there. Toothless was a couple paces behind me, enjoying the long run. Snotlout was hovering nearby, so I decided not to fly back.

Meatlug greeted me as I fell against the wall in sheer exhaustion.

"Hey Meatlug," I panted, scratching her behind her ears. "Where's Fishlegs?"

Meatlug moaned and tossed her head in the direction of the twins' hut.

"Thanks. I guess he's okay bud," I said, turning to Toothless. "Want to go back to Astrid?"

Toothless made a purring noise deep in his throat.

"I guess that's a yes. Goodbye Meatlug," I told the Gronkle, who had decided to fall asleep.

I shrugged and began to walk with Toothless. He pushed me up onto his back and took off running. We reached the Stables in half the time it took us to go from there to the Arena.

"Hello," Astrid called as we landed. "Any news?"

"Fishlegs wasn't there, so I assume he's okay," I reported.

"Good," Astrid said.

I sighed. "I wish this didn't have to happen."

Astrid leaned against the bars. "You told us to go along with it."

"Yes, you already reminded me of that fact."

She raised her eyebrows.

I threw up my hands. "Now it's going very far. It's not right to keep you locked up here! Ruffnut and Tuffnut need to realize that they won't have anyone to do things if they lock you up."

"What did you say?"

I jumped. Snotlout walked briskly up to me and grabbed my arms in a death grip. "Talking about the Leaders that way is against the rules."

It's very annoying when you're be threatened by someone a couple inches shorter than you. "Really Snotlout? I thought we were friends. Besides, I just stated the truth."

Snotlout shoved me into the cell along with Astrid and slammed the door shut. "That'll teach you Table boy... next time I catch you making a mockery of our leaders behind their backs I might not be so merciful," He said looking at Hookfang, grinning, before turning back to us.

Astrid and I stared at Snotlout in disbelief.

"What? I'm just doing my job." Snotlout defended himself from both their glares. "Come Hookfang. We have more lawbreakers to catch," He said walking away, looking proud. Hookfang followed him quickly.

Both Astrid and I watched Snotlout walk away in utter disbelief.

"You know, what actually shocks me is how quickly our 'friends' actually turned on each other." Astrid started, putting her hands on her hips and looking at me.

"Yeah, now I'm regretting bringing Gobber here to look at that claimstone," I said, leaning against the thick wooden poles of the cell. "Well at least you have a handsome cellmate," I muttered as an afterthought, running a hand through my hair.

Astrid punched my shoulder in the spot Snotlout had grabbed me, making me wince. "You have a point."

I laughed, she laughed, and I instantly felt much better.

...

Poor Toothless had come to see how I was doing inside prison when Snotlout brought Astrid and I food.

"Hey Mr. Night Fury! visiting hours are over," Snotlout shouted as he carried a basket full of raw fish over to the jail cell.  
"Go Toothless...come back later..." I whispered to my dragon, patting him with my hands, reaching through the gaps of the cell walls to stroke him behind the ears. Toothless purred affectionately at feeling my hand stroke the side of his head.

Toothless then turned his attention to Snotlout, who was approaching the cell. His ears flattened and he barred his teeth. Growling under his breath, he turned and rapidly departed, his massive tail whipping in the air as he did.

"Whats wrong with Toothless?" Snotlout inquired as he stopped near the bars, setting the basket down.

"Oh I dont know Snotlout... maybe he's upset because his rider is behind bars," I said in a condescending tone, standing up putting one hand on my hip while the other one gestured briefly in the air.

"Wow... I'd watch your attitude Table Boy. You might end up spending time more time here than Astrid," He retorted, pointing at her.

"Hey!" She exclaimed. "Maybe while you're at it you'll lock up all of our dragons so we're defenseless if Dagur decides to attack." She shot him a glare nasty enough to scare away even a Whispering Death.

"Yeah... maybe that's a good idea..." Snoutlout said, pondering it for a moment "Hey! that'd mean they'd lock up Hookfang too!" Snoutlout cried out, suddenly realizing what he was thinking.

"Yeah that's how ridiculous this whole situation is!" Astrid pointed out. She angrily marched towards the cage walls, looking like she was going to kill Snotlout. I stopped her by putting an arm in front of her, blocking her path.

"Tell the twins if they refuse to let us go, we might not be cooperative if Daugur decides to make their precious island a base for his armada," I explained calmly, putting my arm down as Astrid stepped back, crossing her arms shooting Snotlout dirty looks.

"Hey! You're prisoners! You can't make any demands," Snotlout said, at first looking smart, then somewhat defeated in his point. "Anyways, I brought you some dinner at the Leader's request. If I where in charge you'd have to catch your own," Snotlout said, now looking proud.

Astrid and I looked at each other, dumfounded. Snotlout kicked the basket over, pouring slimy trout all over our feet.

"Ewwww," I muttered under my breath, looking at the fish before looking up at Snotlout. A grin came across his face. I swallowed and thought up a clever remark. "Uh, barmaid? I think there's been a mistake with our order," I said, containing myself from laughing. I heard Astrid snickering.

"Barmaid!?" Snotlout exclaimed with both shock and disgust. He stomped off, angered by the confrontation.

I reached down and picked up a single fish, holding it out in front of Astrid's face. "Well, eat up. You have to keep your strength up," I said, a grin lighting up on my face, dangling the fish in front of her with two fingers.

"That is so disgusting," Astrid said, holding a hand over her mouth. "They expect us to eat raw fish?"

"I have," I reminded her.

Astrid almost threw up. "Please don't remind me."

I laughed. "I'm never going to do it again."

Together, picked up the fish and tossed them into the basket. Astrid kissed my cheek. "I'm glad you're with me Table Boy."

"Not the Table Boy again," I groaned. She laughed and kissed me one more time before curling up on the ground.

...

I awoke the next morning to see Snotlout shoving Fishlegs into the cell.

Once Snotlout's ego-ridden figure had disappeared, Astrid and I ran over to a broken-looking Fishlegs.

"Are you okay?" Astrid asked, helping Fishlegs to his feet.

"The chicken criticized my poetry!" Fishlegs moaned. "So Tuffnut ordered Snotlout to take me here. Last night, it was fine. But I think the twins were in a bad mood this morning."

Astrid and I glanced at each other.

"I wrote about them getting into a sword-fight! Tuffnut even got maimed! They should've been laughing until their sides ached."

I sighed. "Fishlegs, the twins are going a bit over the top with this."

He sniffled.

Astrid sighed. "At least we're all together. Maybe now we can get out of here."

Just then, we heard someone yelling. "Yes! That's right! Clean his ears! Oh, and don't forget Barf. Ruffnut won't like it if you do."

Astrid, Fishlegs and I pressed against the bars, trying to see what was going on. Tuffnut was standing next to Barf and Belch, yelling at a very flustered Snotlout.

"This isn't my job!" Snotlout complained, throwing the cleaning brush down on the ground in protest.

"It is now," Tuffnut argued. "Your services as Sergeant at Arms are no longer needed. Since all of the positions are open, you will have to fill them."

Snotlout threw up his hands. "No way! I don't need to listen to you!"

"Uh, yes you do, and for breaking the rule, LOCK YOURSELF IN THE DUNGEON!"

Snotlout hurried over to our cell and opened the door, locking it once he was inside. Tuffnut strode over and took the keys away. "That will teach you a lesson," he sneered, walking away.

Snotlout glared at us. "No words. From any of you!"

...

Tuffnut was feeling satisfied with himself. Everything was going according to plan. The rules were enforced, there was no rebellion (which would be good, but Tuffnut wasn't ready to give up his leadership), and there was no other sign of danger.

Except his own sister.

"Tuffnut!" Ruffnut screeched as he walked up.

"Oh! What troubles thee, my sister?"

"Thorstontown has grown to be an illustrious city fit for Thor himself to visit. But without our citizens, how do we maintain our well established home?"

Tuffnut considered her question. "Well sister, we can ask the humble people of Berk to come and perform the good deed of helping our island grow."

"Oh! That is an illustrious idea. We shall fly to Berk tomorrow and recruit them to do our labor. Our city will grow to be as grand as Valhalla itself!"

...

"Are we just going to starve in here?" Snotlout complained.

I held my head, trying to keep myself from going insane. Toothless lifted his head from the floor outside the cell, where he had decided to nap when Snotlout was no longer a threat.

Astrid sighed. "I don't know if the twins are that heartless. They might've forgotten about us."

"Someone should go get them!" Snotlout cried out.

"Who?" I snapped at him, my anger finally releasing.

"Toothless!"

I shook my head. "He can't fly!"

"He can walk," Snotlout argued.

I groaned. "Fine. Toothless! Please go get the twins," I told my dragon, who perked up and bounded out of the prison.

We were silent for a moment.

"We should put an end to this," Fishlegs suggested suddenly.

I looked at him in surprise. Those were the last words I'd ever expect Fishlegs to say. "What do you mean?"

"We should get Ruffnut and Tuffnut to stop this madness!"

"I agree," Snotlout said.

"How?" I asked. "You can't just ask them to stop."

We were quiet for a moment.

"No, but we can threaten them," Astrid said.

...

"Here they come!" Astrid called out, peering between the bars into the bright afternoon light.

"Places everyone," I whispered, hoping Fishlegs would stop fidgeting and stay still.

The twins walked confidently down the corridor, not noticing Fishlegs and I crouched in the shadows. "What is wrong with the Night Fury?" Tuffnut demanded.

Astrid tucked a couple blonde strands behind her ear. "Hew wanted to make sure you were okay," she said smoothly.

"Of course we're okay," Ruffnut said, leaning towards Astrid.

"Yes. And, young lady, for your cocky attitude, you don't get dinner tonight."

"Like that was going to happen anyway," Snotlout mumbled.

"What did you say?" Tuffnut demanded, giving Snotlout a glare.

"Where are the others?" Ruffnut gasped, suddenly realizing that only two of the four prisoners were there.

Tuffnut peered into the darkness to where Fishlegs and I were hiding. Because of the afternoon shadows, we were invisible. "Where are they?" He yelled at Astrid.

"Why don't you check?" She proposed, stepping out of the way of the door.

Tuffnut unlocked the door and walked towards the back of the cell, Ruffnut following close behind. Astrid and Snotlout slipped out of the cell behind them, motioning for us to make our move.

Fishlegs and I rushed at Ruffnut and Tuffnut, pushing them down. They screamed with surprise and struggled to get up, but Fishlegs and I had already broken free and locked the door before they got back on their feet.

"Mutiny!" Tuffnut shouted, pointing an accusing finger.

"What are you doing?" Ruffnut demanded.

"We have a few problems with your rules," I explained, in shock that the plan actually worked. "So, we decided to keep you here until you agree to our terms."

"TERMS?" Ruffnut exploded.

"We _all_ rule the island," Astrid said.

"No rules!" Snotlout cried out, pumping his fist in the air.

"I won't agree!" Ruffnut screamed.

"Me neither!" Tuffnut said in agreement.

I sighed. "I guess you will just have to stay here then."

"We are the Leaders of Thorstontown!" Tuffnut argued. "You can't keep us here!"

Astrid cupped her hand to her ear. "Did I hear an S?"

Tuffnut fell silent.

"I thought breaking a rule meant immediate placement in the dungeon," Snotlout recalled. "As Sergeant at Arms, I should know that."

"I guess we'll just have to leave you here then," I said.

We turned and walked away. I was actually disappointed the twins didn't say anything when Tuffnut called out, "We agree to your terms!"

We stopped. I turned and walked back to the cell. "Really."

"Really," Ruffnut said desperately.

I sighed loudly. "Fine." I opened the door. "We return the Edge to its normal self as soon as possible, agreed?"

They both nodded. "Agreed."

...

"I still can't believe the twins owned this place for awhile," Astrid said two nights later as the sun set low on the horizon.

I laughed. "I actually think they're okay about everybody ruling the Edge."

"Same." Astrid looked up at me. "I like it like this. Peaceful. No Dagur, no psychotic dragons, no worries. Just us."

I put my arm around her. "I like it too."

We sat there until the sun set. "I guess we'd better head back," I said, standing.

"Yeah, I bet the twins have torn apart the clubhouse," Astrid said as she mounted Stormfly. "Or their hut."

I laughed and took off on Toothless, shouting into the night sky. Astrid screamed with joy behind me, making my spirits fly as high as the rising moon.

* * *

 **Thank you to SANDMAN117 for requesting and helping me write this one-shot. They wrote some of the scenes and gave me pointers while I was writing, so koodos to them!**


End file.
